801-855-7999 | We’re Here to Help

CALL | EMAIL | Schedule Appointment

  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Neurofeedback and Counseling of Utah

Therapy Made Better with Brain-Based Neurotherapy | Clearfield, UT

  • Home
  • About
    • About Us
    • Our Team
    • BCIA Certification for Neurofeedback
    • Community Giving
    • Schedule Consultation
  • Services
    • Counseling
      • Sensory Integration
    • Neurofeedback Brain Training
    • QEEG Brain Map
    • Life Coaching
    • ADHD
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Free Community Workshops
    • Home Training
    • Online Therapy
  • Newsletter
  • Events
    • Adoptive Parent Facebook Group
  • Therapy Blog
  • Get Started
    • Schedule Consultation
    • Rates & Insurance
    • Resources
      • Wellness Newsletter
      • Suicide Prevention
      • Mental Health Links
      • Physical Health Links
      • Make a Payment
      • Free Workshops for Parents and Teens
    • Common Questions about Therapy
    • Client Forms
  • Contact Us
    • Our Location
    • Schedule Appointment
    • Client Login

Ideas for Managing Chronic Tantrums in Children

November 15, 2016 by Jeff Bright



ideas-for-managing-chronic-tantrumsTantrum behaviors seem to be one of the most common and frustrating behaviors in children. They seem so full of anger and rage that doesn’t seem to make sense. I have no unique idea about why children tantrum or why some children tantrum more than others. But I have had a few years of helping my daughter manage her tantrums.

One thing to consider is how you respond to your child. If you find that you are routinely yelling at your child for every perceived act of misbehavior, you are essentially teaching them that anger is the solution to those issues. Children mimic what you do, and the will yell and scream if you regularly do so. You scream, they scream (we all scream for ICE Cream!).

We all know that screaming doesn’t help, but makes things worse. So what should you do? Try to remain calm and have a consistent reaction to each tantrum.

Our daughter that we adopted from foster care came to us with trauma and emotional baggage. She was seeing two therapists and went to a specialty pre-school for children with trauma, but she still had tantrums. The therapist we were seeing was against “Time Out” and so we did what she calls “Time In” but really it was the same concept. When our daughter would tantrum, we would physically lift her and place her calmly on the stairs. She was only on the stairs in “Time Out or Time In” for as long as it took for her to calm down. Once she was calm, she had to tell us why she was in trouble and either apologize (if she hurt someone) or agree to try to do better. Using this method was much easier than setting a timer or having a hard and fast rule about the length of time she should be in time out.

Today, she is 4 years old, almost 5 and she is either sent to the stairs or her bedroom when she tantrums. She is still only in time-out for as long as it takes her to calm down, but her time to calm down has dramatically improved. She used to tantrum for 20-30 minutes but is now only in Time Out for 3-4 minutes. She still has a hard time communicating why she is in trouble, so we will remind her why she is in trouble and then she has to wait a few minutes and then be able to tell us why she is in trouble. She then will talk about what she could do differently.

This same general concept is what we use when she tantrums in public. We immediately leave the situation if she tantrums. She has learned, over time, that we are serious when we give her two warnings and on the third correction we leave. We have had to leave grocery carts full of groceries and restaurants with boxed up food, at first. But over time, she has learned that in public she is expected to behave or we leave.

The main concept from our experience is to try different strategies and decide what feels right for your style and then be consistent. It has taken us almost 2 years to have our daughters tantrums to the point mum-and-son-1380990443jslwhere we feel they are under control.

Some children are more challenging than what our daughter has been. She has an average IQ and seems to be able to learn from mistakes. Sometimes children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, low IQ, Autism, etc. can throw tantrums and they don’t seem to learn from mistakes. The method we use with our daughter would not likely work in these circumstances. If this is your child, we greatly advise that you seek specific therapeutic help with people who are specialized in what your child experiences.

Parenting is difficult and when you add in trauma, mental illness, or IQ impairments, tantrum behavior is a daily occurrence. Tantrum behaviors don’t have to ruin the day once you feel like you are prepared and know how to respond.  There will be times when you, as the parent, may overreact and this is really normal. Be ready to apologize when you have yelled or said something hurtful.

Also, from a trauma-informed care perspective, any child who has experienced trauma in their childhood (abuse, neglect, etc) may be triggered by your response to their tantrum. If they are throwing a fit, and you respond in anger, yelling, or physical punishment, they are going to tantrum worse. This is known therapeutically as “Re-Enactment” where the child is re-enacting negative internal states and they are actually feeling more in control and comforted when there is chaos, yelling, and even physical pain. In order to heal from trauma, the child needs to be in a situation where the adult has self-control and is safe. The child will learn new behaviors as the adult help to create new situations and circumstances. (For more information on Trauma Re-Enactment, see Peter Levine’s work here).

Luckily we have technology advances and we can delve deeper into how the brain works via neurofeedback. Neurofeedback helps therapists understand what needs to be done to help alter behavior that can be problematic. You can call or email us to see if Neurofeedback might be a good fit for your child and help reduce the tantrums that they experience.

Our specialists are great at helpingphone to find individual ways for parents to help children learn new behaviors and succeed. Call us for a free consultation to see if we can help your family! 801-855-7999.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Blog

Workshops & Webinars: Building Unity in Stepfamilies, Depression, more >>

 

Recent Posts

  • 4 Reasons to Start Therapy in 2021
  • What is Equine-Assisted Therapy?
  • Finding your Strength…on a Cloudy Day
  • Finding Hope in a New Year
  • A Re-frame of the Holiday Season

Neurofeedback & Counseling of Utah

801-855-7999
info@ntcutah.com

129 S State St, STE 250
Clearfield, UT 84015
 
Schedule Appointment

Consultation

Client Login
Neurofeedback and Counseling of Utah

Search

Neurofeedback and Counseling of Utah

Call or Text: 801-855-7999
info@ncutah.com

129 S State St, Suite 250
Clearfield, UT 84015

Mental Health Therapy in Clearfield, UT

Quick Links

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Services
  • Contact Us
  • Therapy Blog
  • Consultation
  • Free Wellness Newsletter

Utah NeuroTherapy Center BBB Business Review Neurofeedback and Counseling of Utah | All Rights Reserved
A bright site by Brighter Vision | Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2021 · Genesis Child on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.