801-855-7999 | We’re Here to Help

CALL | EMAIL | Schedule Appointment

  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Neurofeedback and Counseling of Utah

Therapy Made Better with Brain-Based Neurotherapy | Clearfield, UT

  • Home
  • About
    • About Us
    • Our Team
    • BCIA Certification for Neurofeedback
    • Community Giving
    • Schedule Consultation
  • Services
    • Counseling
      • Sensory Integration
    • Neurofeedback Brain Training
    • QEEG Brain Map
    • Life Coaching
    • ADHD
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Free Community Workshops
    • Home Training
    • Online Therapy
  • Newsletter
  • Events
    • Adoptive Parent Facebook Group
  • Therapy Blog
  • Get Started
    • Schedule Consultation
    • Rates & Insurance
    • Resources
      • Wellness Newsletter
      • Suicide Prevention
      • Mental Health Links
      • Physical Health Links
      • Make a Payment
      • Free Workshops for Parents and Teens
    • Common Questions about Therapy
    • Client Forms
  • Contact Us
    • Our Location
    • Schedule Appointment
    • Client Login

The Most Effective Way to Strengthen Desirable Behavior in Children

May 1, 2017 by Jeff Bright

positive reinforcement parenting

positive reinforcement parenting“Research has shown that the most effective way to reduce problem behavior in children is to strengthen desirable behavior through positive reinforcement rather than trying to weaken undesirable behavior using aversive or negative processes.” Dr. Sidney W. Bijou, International Encyclopedia of Education.

“When used effectively, positive reinforcement is the most powerful teaching tool we have.” Dr. Glenn Latham, The Power of Positive Parenting.

Many of our interactions with children are negative; we’re reprimanding them, telling to stop a behavior. But most undesirable behaviors are mild annoyances. Dr. Latham teaches parents to ignore inconsequential behavior (which is 90% of undesirable behavior). He continues, “Rather than just stopping a behavior, redirect it, then reinforce the appropriate, redirected behavior.”

Instead of using punishments or consequences for negative behavior, we can turn those moments into teaching opportunities and teach children what they could have done instead.

Catch your children behaving well. Every child shows some appropriate behaviors each day, even if it’s simply refraining from bad behavior for a time. Learn to watch for appropriate behaviors and use positive reinforcement. Point out a positive behavior, comment on it, briefly thank them for it and maybe give them a gentle touch. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Watch Dr. Latham share his principles for positive parenting here.

How to Handle Annoying Behaviors

Admittedly, kids do a lot of annoying things that leave parents frustrated, but for the many inconsequential behaviors such as whining, complaining and tantrums (that don’t cause harm to people or things), it’s best to ignore them. Turning our attention on inconsequential behaviors reinforces them.

If, for example, we scold a child about complaining and repeatedly lecture him about this unwanted behavior, he’s getting a lot of attention from it. And he’ll keep doing it.

However, if we ignore the complaining, we are withdrawing our attention. We can briefly acknowledge their feelings: “I’m sorry that bothers you.” Then:

  • Remain calm.
  • Walk off.
  • Act busy.
  • Don’t look at your child.
  • Ignore any continued complaining.
  • If possible, praise the good behavior of another child nearby.

The behavior will likely cease within a very short time, 1-2 minutes or less. (Tantrums may take longer.) For some more specifics, here’s an article we recently shared on our Facebook page about eliminating whining. Or watch Dr. Latham in the video below. 

Then a short time later, look for opportunities to acknowledge your child’s appropriate behavior. Watch for your child to not break a rule. Watch for them to obey–even if they grumble and complain about it. (Just ignore the grumbling, stay calm, and reinforce that they did obey.) Give them credit for the good choices they make. Give fuel for future positive behavior through your attention.

Do this often. You may need to create reminders for yourself to stay on alert for good behavior, such as leaving notes on your monitor or refrigerator or drawing a smiley face on your hand. The attention that gets your behavior will get repeated.The attention that gets your behavior will get repeated.

“Parental attention is a powerful, powerful reinforcer of children’s behavior. More than anything else, children want the attention of their parents, and if they can’t get it behaving appropriately, they will get it behaving inappropriately,” says Dr. Glenn Latham.

The positive reinforcement can be verbal and short, such as “Thank you for playing nicely,” or even a smile, a wink, or a pat on the back.

Serve up more positive interactions than negative with your children–Dr. Latham suggests 20 positive interactions to each negative–and watch how your relationship improves.

Avoid saying, “You’re a good girl!” Praise should focus on their actions or their choices, not about who they are. According to this reasoning, she’s a good girl if she makes a good choice, but she’s a bad girl if she makes a bad choice. And that is not true. Short, specific praise about an action is best.

Next time we’ll talk about what to do when a child’s behavior needs to be stopped and not just ignored. 


NeuroTherapy and Trauma Center of Utah serves clients in Layton, Ogden, Syracuse, Roy and surrounding cities who deal with trauma, anxiety, ADHD and mood disorders. If you live in Layton, Ogden, Syracuse or Roy and are suffering from trauma, anxiety, ADHD or mood disorders, please call 801-855-7999 or text 801-855-7999 today to find out how we can help you.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: adoption, fatherhood, foster care, foster parent, motherhood, parenting, positive parenting, positive reinforcement

Workshops & Webinars: Building Unity in Stepfamilies, Depression, more >>

 

Recent Posts

  • 4 Reasons to Start Therapy in 2021
  • What is Equine-Assisted Therapy?
  • Finding your Strength…on a Cloudy Day
  • Finding Hope in a New Year
  • A Re-frame of the Holiday Season

Neurofeedback & Counseling of Utah

801-855-7999
info@ntcutah.com

129 S State St, STE 250
Clearfield, UT 84015
 
Schedule Appointment

Consultation

Client Login
Neurofeedback and Counseling of Utah

Search

Neurofeedback and Counseling of Utah

Call or Text: 801-855-7999
info@ncutah.com

129 S State St, Suite 250
Clearfield, UT 84015

Mental Health Therapy in Clearfield, UT

Quick Links

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Services
  • Contact Us
  • Therapy Blog
  • Consultation
  • Free Wellness Newsletter

Utah NeuroTherapy Center BBB Business Review Neurofeedback and Counseling of Utah | All Rights Reserved
A bright site by Brighter Vision | Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2021 · Genesis Child on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.